Gary Chapman gets really practical about how to behave to get a good marriage. This content comes from a chapter entitled "For Wives Only: The Fine Art of Encouragement", in the book The Family You've Always Wanted. 

Requests, Not Demands, Get Better Results
 
By Gary Chapman
 
If you want to influence your husband, requests are more productive than demands.
 
None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower.
 
It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."
 
Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years?"
 
Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies." Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over.
 
Requests are more productive than demands.
 
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Today's Daily Focus content has been written by Dr. Gary Chapman and is based on the book The Family You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers, copyright 2008. Used by permission.
 
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To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.5lovelanguages.com.