Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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Is It The Other Guy Who Is Too Negative?
 
by Alan Zimmerman 
 
Summary of this article
 
Dr. Alan Zimmerman is a business coach and speaker. He makes some good points about dealing with "The Other Guy Who Is Too Negative."  
 
Jim
Is It The Other Guy Who Is Too Negative?
 
By Dr. Alan Zimmerman
 
A good portion of our society, many of our work places, and lots of our relationships tend to focus on the negative.
 
Have you noticed the news industry.  It would be more accurate to call it the "bad news business." 
 
In our workforce I see a whining-griping-complaining syndrome. The light has gone out in people's eyes.  People come to work with a sense of routine and obligation rather than passion.
 
In a national survey of 16 to 29 year olds, MTV reported that "angry" and "stressed out" were the best descriptions of that generation.
 
Besides robbing you of your health and happiness, it robs you of your productivity and your loving relationships.
 
(NOTE: Yesterday's subject was: If You're The Negative One.)
 
IF IT'S THE OTHER GUY WHO'S NEGATIVE
 
Now you might be saying "That's all well and good. But I'm fairly positive. What bothers me are all the negative people around me that I have to work with. What do I do in that situation?" 
 
I conduct a workshop that deals with that. It's called "Staying Up In A Negative World: 8 Keys To A Positive Work Environment."  
 
Let me give you three strategies to get started.
 
1. Passively or actively question the negative remarks of others.   
 
You've heard the expression, "It's too good to be true." You've learned that that's often the case. Likewise, when you hear someone go on and on about how bad things are or how bad it's going to be, simply say, "That's too bad to be true." More often than not you'll be right.
 
2. Don't take advice from constantly negative people. 
 
When you hear people say things like "marriage doesn't work" ... that "change will never succeed" ... that "no one cares", take a look at who's talking. Are they winners or losers? Obviously, they're losers. So be careful of taking their comments too much to heart.
 
In my workshop, I ask people to raise their right hands and repeat after me, "I hereby commit that from now on I will not take advice from anyone more messed up than I am." People laugh, but they get the point.
 
3. Use an imaginary glass screen.  
 
I know this will sound silly, but it works! The moment you sense negativity coming from others, imagine a glass screen coming around you. Tell yourself the glass screen rebuffs all the negative, allowing only the positive to flow through. You will find that you can continue to converse and stay involved with those around you, but you won't be affected by their negativity. Try it and see.
 
Action Step:
 
What is your typical response when you hear negative comments from others? How happy are you with your response? How well does your response work? And what would you ideally like to do or say in response to the negativity of others. Figure it out. Practice your response, and be prepared to use it the next time you're around one of those people with too much negativity. 
_____________________________________________________
 
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

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Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library