Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
Library pic
 
If You Don't Make It Better, It Gets Worse
 
by Dr. Steven Stosny
 
Summary of this article
 
Dr. Stosny has deeply studied our emotions and the profound effect that our emotions have on each other even when we are not talking. We can pick up another person's emtions in 0.4 seconds, far faster than words
 
Jim
If You Don't Make It Better, It Gets Worse 
 
By Steven Stosny
 
Humans are and always have been social animals, hard-wired to react emotionally to one another. Every one of your interactions with other people changes you and them a tiny bit, for better or worse.
 
If you do not try to make the inevitable change for the better, it will almost always be for the worse, due to the well-documented negative bias of emotional processing.
 
Negative emotions get priority in our processing because they are most often associated with some kind of danger.
 
That same negative bias means that there is no neutral emotion - ignoring him or shutting her out feels the same to him or her as rejection and must be defended against, typically by that person ignoring or shutting out someone else.
 
A great many of the negative emotions we blame on stress, work, spouses, and children really come from an accumulation of our (mostly subtle) negative responses to all the people we encounter in what I call the Web of Emotion.  
 
Here's an example of your power to achieve emotional well being, once you understand the dynamics of the Web of Emotion. Suppose you regarded everyone you saw today as a valuable person with a good heart. Everyone you live with, all your neighbors, coworkers, all the drivers on the road and people on the street - everyone you saw was a good person! If you valued and respected everyone you saw today, how would you feel right now? Most likely you'd feel pretty darn good. And if you regarded everyone you saw with value and respect, would that make it more or less likely that they would regard the people they encountered with value and respect? That's right, you would spread value and respect throughout the community.
 
Now suppose you viewed the people you encountered with suspicion or mistrust or just ignored them because they weren't worth your attention. If you regarded people that way today, how would you feel right now? Most likely you would feel defensive, resentful, irritable, or depressed. And if you devalued the people you encountered, no matter how unobtrusively, would that make it more or less likely that they would devalue the people they meet? That's right, you would spread negative energy in the form of resentment, defensiveness, and irritability throughout the community. Due to the vast contagion of emotions that make up the Web, even your most subtle interactions with other people help determine whether they treat their loved ones well, ignore them, or even hurt them.
 
Steven Stosny
CompassionPower.Com
_____________________________________________________
 
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

Cartoon

 
Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!
 
Practical tips and news sent to you every day.
 
Low monthly fee of only $5. 
 
One email could change your marriage!!!
 
Subscribe now using PayPal!
 
More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Subscribe
TODAY!
 
Just $5 a month
 
A new practical tip
everyday. 
 
 

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List iconClick here   
for 2 Week    
Free Trial of
Daily Marriage Tips

 

Book

 
 

Refer this
Daily Email Tip
to others and receive a
$3 bonus each month
for each new subscriber.

 
Forward this email to a Friend 
 

        
 
 
 
Jim Hiromi
 
Got Questions?
Send me an email.
----------------------------------- 
To place a link to today's information on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button below when you have your webpage open.
 
Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library