Summary of this article
Dr. Frank Pittman has 37 years as a psychiatrist and family therapist, 14 years as a movie critic, and six years as an advice columnist. He's known for his humor and authorship of several books.
Jim |
Marriage Tips From Studying Old Folks
By Frank Pittman Divorces run in families. If you didn't know marriages when you were growing up, find people who are married and find out how they do it. Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don't want to hurt one another's feelings, and they don't try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another. Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but cruelty is not. Above all, happily married partners see each other as allies, not as adversaries. You can't be right and married at the same time. If you're trying to be right and prove your partner wrong, you've stepped outside the marriage. To go without sex is to endanger the relationship. It's very easy to build up an incest taboo in a marriage. If you go without sex, your instincts recognize this person as part of the family but cease to recognize the person as a sex partner. The response can kick in surprisingly quickly - in as little as six weeks. People make a terrible mistake in being angry with their marriage partner and cutting them off sexually as a way of arousing great passion. It used to work in the ninth grade. But it doesn't work in the ninth decade. Caressing and contact is always a good thing. The great thing about sex at this age is it ceases to be great, and it becomes funny. It feels good, but you never know what's going to work and what's not. Which brings up another trait that long-lasting marriage partners often share: a sense of humor. Humor is vital, but it is vital to be happy, too. A happy marriage is a marriage between two happy people. You're not going to be in love all the time, but if you want to recapture that magic from when you were in love, BE LOVING. Being loving to your partner makes you feel so good about yourself, it doesn't matter if you're in love or not. The marriage is making you feel good if you are loving in it. There's no point battling age in yourself or in your partner. No one has ever won. Always keep your pants zipped in public. Frank Pittman
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God bless your marriage and family.
Jim Stephens |
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