Hale Dwoskin, who teaches the Sedona Method, has some wonderful insights that can help people identify and release unknown beliefs that are holding them back. If one member of your couple is a perfectionist, share this article with them.

What to Do When Being a Perfectionist Drags You Down
 
From www.sedona.com
 
Demanding perfection in all areas of your life, from work to home and everywhere in between, may seem like a noble deed -- even one that perhaps we should all strive for.
 
But perfectionism is actually responsible for making many people miserable. Like a wolf dressed in sheep's clothing, maintaining a perfectionist attitude can defeat you when you least expect it.
 
"The quest for perfection is often unknowingly a quest to suffer," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. "If we feel like we need to get something perfect, we rarely feel that we have achieved the perfection we are striving for."
 
What are some of the problems that perfectionists encounter? They have a constant feeling that they are letting someone, including themselves, down, because, after all, nothing is ever perfect.
 
Further, according to Alistair Ostell, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Bradford Management Center in England, perfectionists are more susceptible to emotional and physical problems -- conditions like insomnia, heart palpitations, chronic fatigue and high blood pressure -- than those who are more open-minded or flexible.
 
"If there's one thing perfectionism does, it rigidifies behavior," says author Hara Estroff Marano in his Psychology Today article. "It constricts people just when the fast-moving world requires more flexibility and comfort with ambiguity than ever. It turns people into success slaves."
 
At its most extreme, perfectionism can actually paralyze people by their compulsive desire to be perfect. This, in turn, can lead to stress-related illness, low self-esteem, relationship problems, decreased productivity and even suicidal thoughts.
 
Are You Paralyzed by Perfection? Time to Break Free
 
Do you ever think the following self-limiting beliefs?
 
  · It's not OK to make a mistake
  · People will not like me if I'm not perfect
  · I'll avoid anything I can't do well
  · I'm a failure because I didn't achieve a goal
  · I must keep everything in my life under rigid control
  · I'm depressed because something didn't come out right
  · Anyone who criticizes me is stupid
 
If so, it's time to let go of your need to be perfect. You can let go of this self-sabotaging feelings just like you can let go of a pencil once you turn your hand upside down. 
 
"This is not to say that you shouldn't strive to do your best. It's just that if you force yourself to be perfect all the time you'll never feel like you are," Dwoskin says.
 
"The best way to release your desire for perfection is to let go of wanting to be perfect or to create perfection," he continues. "It is also extremely helpful to allow yourself to love or accept yourself as you are."
 
"The more you love and accept yourself as you are, and the more you allow yourself to accept your performance, then the happier you'll feel, and the more likely you'll be to produce stellar results."
 
"And remember, even the most wondrous things on earth -- from the great pyramids to Einstein's Theory of Relativity -- are not perfect. So let go of the feeling that you must reach an unrealistic level of perfection, and get in touch with the reality that you can be great even if you're not perfect."