Daily Tips from The Marriage Library.com
Library pic
 
Love Lessons from the Smart Marriages Conference
 
By Diane Sollee

May 12, 2011                                                                                                Issue 645    

 

Summary of this article
 
Diane Sollee was the founder of the Smart Marriages Conferences that ran for more than 12 years bringing together top people from every area of the marriage field. Here is her article on some key points of marriage.

Jim   

Love Lessons from the Smart Marriages Conference

 

By Diane Sollee

 

We know communication is important, but just how do we do it?

 

The Daily Temperature Reading, created by Virginia Satir, is a step-by-step guide to getting it right. Practice for a month and soon the behaviors will become habits. Do them all - even if at first they seem artificial or corny. These simple but crucial skills can make the difference between misery and happiness.

 

Appreciations: Share five things you appreciate about each other. These can range from the simple "I like your smile" to the sublime "I like it that you were able to kiss and make up after I forgot to pick you up last night." Appreciations build up credit in the love bank. It can be a nice surprise to realize just how much our partners notice and appreciate.

 

Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams: Describe three things you hope for in the long run ("I hope to complete a marathon by the time I'm 40") and in the short run ("This week-end I'd like to spend a half-hour alone with my dad when he visits.") A partner who understands your dreams is able to help them happen. Remember that hopes change as we go along and it's important to keep each other current.

 

New Information: We often forget to update our partner about a change in plans or circumstances. We tell people at work or a family member and think we've told our spouse. Make the daily updates a ritual. Information like "The dentist said Bobby won't need braces after all" or "I'll have to be in San Francisco an extra day" is crucial to staying in-synch and feeling connected.

 

Puzzles: Clear-up big or little mysteries before they become suspicions, jealousy, false assumptions, or resentments. Most "puzzles" have simple explanations. "You promised you'd water the tomatoes before you left this morning. What happened?" "The water was turned off. Was it back on when you got up?" You have to ask.

 

Complaints with Request for Change: Get in the habit of saying what you want rather than what you don't want. Describe a specific behavior that bothers you and explain how you'd like it done. Instead of "I get furious when you call and don't leave a message," say, "Honey, when you call and get the machine, please don't say 'It's me' and hang up. Say why you're calling, and when you'll call back, or be home, or whatever it was you were calling to tell me." If you forget to say why you were calling. Call back. Even if it's long distance. It's an inexpensive investment in your marriage. Cheaper than a dozen roses.

__________________________________

copyright, CMFCE, smartmarriages.com

 

___________________________________________________

 

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

 

Jim Stephens


Cartoon

Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!

Practical tips and news sent to you every day.

 

Low monthly fee of only $5. That's 365 articles for less than the cost of a marriage seminar. 

 

Read one or read them all. Just one piece of information could change your marriage!!!   ....priceless.

 

Subscribe now using PayPal!

 

More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Just $5 a month
A new practical tip
everyday. 
Click here
What's your favorite charity. Tell them about
They can receive $3/mon. donation for everyone they refer to Marriage Tips.
 
        
 Archives of past
Daily E-Tips

(must be a subscriber)
 
Did you like this article? Can you think of someone who might benefit from it. Please forward it to them using this button. Reach out and make a connection...it benefits both of you.
 
Please use this button, not the "forward" button because if your friend clicks the "unsubscribe" button, YOU are the one that will be unsubscribed!!! 

To place a link to
today's information
on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button at
the top of this page.

Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20112011