The Centerfold Syndrome

By Laura M. Brotherson

There is a current cultural phenomenon that has been identified as "The Centerfold Syndrome."

It is understood as a dysfunctional assortment of attitudes and behaviors representing a pervasive distortion in the way men are taught to relate to women and sexuality.

Five problematic components of the centerfold syndrome include:

1. Voyeurism - an obsession with visual stimulation that trivializes all other features of a healthy relationship

2. Objectification of women - an obsessive focus on body parts and the rating of women by size and shape

3. Sex for validation of masculinity - having one's manliness and self-worth tied up in one's sexual prowess

4. Trophyism - treating women as collectibles and property

5. Fear of intimacy - an inability to get beyond air-brushed sexualized images of women in order to have a real relationship

Counteracting the centerfold syndrome

It is easy to see how such cultural conditioning, fueled by the prevalence of pornography, can have seriously detrimental effects on intimate relationships. Pornography and other media messages condition men to have distorted and unrealistic views of sexuality and intimacy, wreaking havoc in the very real relationship of marriage.

Fortunately as men become aware of this conditioning and are able to identify its influence in their own lives, they can then begin to counteract the distortions with a corrected and empathetic understanding of women and greater understanding of the divine designs of sexuality as a relational experience.

One therapist shared how he uses my book "And They Were Not Ashamed - Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment" as required reading for the men in his therapy groups to help them restore emotional empathy for women and their sexual perspectives. He said the book also has helped men develop a better understanding of the divine designs of sexuality in marriage.

Sexual issues in marriage must be seen in this broader context of the interpersonal nature of sex rather than as simply being about needing a pill. While Viagra may assist with physical issues it will do little for the relational element of lovemaking if there is an absence of emotional connection.

As men enhance their capacity for sensuality beyond their sexual senses, and develop greater emotional intelligence, they will be more capable of communicating and connecting intimately and enjoying the complementary physical and emotional bliss lovemaking can afford.

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Laura M. Brotherson is a marriage and family life educator, and the author of the book "And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment." Readers can contact her through her website, www.StrengtheningMarriage.com. 

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God bless your marriage and your family.

Jim