A Woman's Need to Connect Can Drive The Man Away - Part 1
By John Gray
Depending on the man, a number of things can cause him to lose interest in a woman. However, one trait is sure to extinguish his attraction: her demand for constant attention.
When a woman wants to be around a man all the time, he feels that she is needy.
Many women share with our coaches that they have trouble controlling their ability to give a man his space. This neediness often causes her to be hurt time and time again by men wanting some separation at times.
Why can lack of attention from a man cause a woman such pain and loneliness? Don't men also want to spend time together? Most importantly, how can the woman get her needs met without seeming needy?
Most men and women think differently. The metaphor, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," explains the differences in communication styles between the sexes. It likens the behavior patterns of men and women to different cultures; the culture of the "Martians" from Mars and that of the "Venusians" of Venus. Note, we can certainly acknowledge that, although each sex typically communicates this way, it by no means implies that all men and women behave exactly alike or have all of these attributes. Using the metaphor can be helpful, but clearly not all men act like they are from Mars and not all women act like they are from Venus.
Life on Venus
Women, or "Venusians," are warm, sensitive creatures. Their world revolves around relationships and conversation. When in love, there is nowhere they'd rather be than with their partner. She will take every opportunity to spend time with him and go to great lengths to see him. By spending time together, the Venusian has the opportunity to connect and communicate with her Martian. In doing so, she is able to seek out the care, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance that are all so important to her.
Life on Mars
Men, or "Martians," also enjoy time with their partner. However, their intimacy needs are not met through constant togetherness. They thrive on action more than communication. While Venusians tend to overanalyze a time that she and her Martian spent together, Martians do not need to relive every word, or examine every detail, to ensure that all has gone well. Instead, they concentrate on their next task.
Martians focus more on trying to do something that will contribute to the overall relationship and bring the Venusian happiness.
