10 Marriage Myths Busted

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

Don't Fall for These Marriage Myths

If you rely on any of these myths to strengthen your marriage, you will be disappointed. These marriage myths belong in the shredder.

Myth 1: Love is all you need to have a successful marriage.

Truth: Although love is extremely important in your marriage, to have a successful marriage, your relationship needs much more.

Myth 2: Your spouse should fill your needs.

Truth: Although everyone has emotional needs, expecting your spouse to fill all these needs is unfair and unreasonable.

Myth 3: You can save your marriage by having a baby.

Truth: Parents need to be lovers. If your marriage is in trouble, don't think having a baby will make things better between the two of you. Generally, having a baby adds stress to a marriage. Having a baby may lessen the amount of quality time alone and also lessen spontaneous sex in your marriage.

Myth 4: You can change your spouse.

Truth: You can't change your spouse. The only person you can truly change is yourself.

Myth 5: It only takes one of you to save your marriage.

Truth: Regardless of what or who created problems in your marriage, it will take both of you being willing to face and to talk about the difficult issues in order to save your marriage.

Myth 6: Living together before you get married guarantees a long lasting marriage.

Truth: Cohabitation does not necessarily give the two of you an easy road ahead in your marriage. In fact, research has shown that co-habiting before marriage actually lessens your chances of a happy marriage.

Myth 7: If you have a successful marriage, you are just lucky.

Truth: Couples who have long lasting marriages generally have both commitment and friendship in their relationship with one another.

Myth 8: Don't go to bed angry. Finish the fight.

Truth: Sometimes, getting a good night's sleep is more important than trying to finish an argument when you are both exhausted. Set an appointment within the next 24 hours to finish the fight.

Myth 9: The longer you are married, the closer you will become.

Truth: If they didn't spend quality time together in the pre-empty nest years, more and more couples who have been married 30 or more years are getting divorced.

Myth 10: It is important to spend all your free time together.

Truth: Time alone is an important aspect of who you are as an emotionally healthy individual.

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God bless your marriage and your family. 

Jim