Little Habits That Can Make All The Difference - Part 3

By Mary Ganske, Women's Day Magazine, October 3, 2000

Even the most happily married couples fall into ruts now and then.

To the rescue:  a new breed of marriage schools aimed at helping happy couples make a good thing even better.  Unlike traditional therapy, in these workshops couples learn concrete skills that make any relationship stronger.

Woman's Day Magazine took a look at the top marriage renewal programs across the country. The result: five ways to improve communication, smooth over rough spots, and get closer than ever before.

MARRIAGE TIP #3:  UPDATE YOUR DREAM LIST

The Workshop:  Couple Communication, Evergreen, Colorado

Sit down together at least once a year -- New Year's or your anniversary is a good time -- to go over your dreams for the future. These may include things you want to have (a new couch) things you want to do (create a flower garden) and things you want to be (more spiritual, a better listener). Pinpointing your desires not only helps you both grow as people, but keeps you aligned as a couple.

"We are constantly changing," says Sherod Miller, Ph.D, co-developer of Couple Communication. Find out if any new dreams have surfaced in him, and be sure to tell him yours.

Then make an agreement to help each other achieve one or more of those goals. For example, he may agree to spend more time with the kids so you can enroll in a computer class. You may give the thumbs-up to the camping trip he's always wanted. Too often, couples harm their relationships by sabotaging each other's dreams, says Dr. Miller. "But supporting your partner's goals is one of the best and simplest ways to show you care."

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God bless your marriage and your family. 

Jim