Giving and Receiving Feedback

From www.Klemmer.com

How would you rate yourself on RECEIVING feedback?

How would you rate yourself on GIVING feedback?

Many people have difficulty in one or both.

Companies pay large sums of money to have their people become comfortable with giving and receiving feedback. Why? Because feedback is the breakfast of champions.

Without feedback, you are like a pilot flying a plane with no instruments. You can do it, but it is more difficult and you cannot fly in as many difficult conditions. The more feedback you have, the more information you have to make the corrections that will keep you on track.

3 Keys to RECEIVING feedback:

Key #1. Realize feedback is not "the truth". Many people are resistant to receiving feedback because they are concerned with what is true.

Imagine my children give me feedback that they don't feel loved by me. That certainly does not mean I don't love them, but since I am interested in a better relationship with them, then I want that feedback in order to know what I need to do differently so that they do feel loved.

Key #2. Learn to be "flat" around feedback. Don't get riled up. Just listen. Sometimes the feedback says more about the giver of the feedback than about you. Suppose the altimeter reading in a plane says you are at 20,000 feet. The instrument might be broke.

Key #3. Have multiple sources for feedback. A pattern in feedback is more valuable than one person's input because multiple feedback covers up individual agendas.

3 Keys to GIVING feedback:

Key #1. Focus on making a contribution, not worrying about how others perceive you. Many are hesitant to give feedback because they are concerned that other people won't like them, will take revenge, or will not be supportive. They sacrifice results in order to be liked.

Key #2. Think of feedback as merely offering one viewpoint of many and that with many viewpoints the other person will have a more complete picture. The idea that feedback must come from an "expert" is ridiculous.

Key #3. Be unattached to its reception. You are not aiming to convince a person. You are merely offering your viewpoint. A great way to do this is to say, "My experience of . . ." and then explain your viewpoint. This makes it clear you are not stating what is "the truth" but are offering an experience or viewpoint.

Another way to help your feedback be received is to come from the perspective of A) What worked? B) What didn't work? C) What's next? This eliminates judgment and maintains a forward moving context.

TAKEAWAY:

Feedback is not "the truth". It is a viewpoint. Without feedback it is hard to make the proper course corrections.

Let feedback simply become your way of life.

"Advice is like castor oil, easy to give but dreadful uneasy to take"

--Josh Billings