Excerpt from the book:
It's Your Choice: A Happy and God-honoring Marriage
By Paul Refior
(PDF, Acrobat Reader file of 1.1meg)
Chapter Six - A LIST OF ABSOLUTES FOR MUTUAL COMMITMENT
You will certainly agree that marriage is infinitely more than a list of do's and don'ts. Yet one of the problems these days is that so many couples fail or refuse to acknowledge important do's and don'ts, and these couples do not make or fulfill important commitments and promises.
Do you want a happy and God-honoring marriage? Then I suggest that you make the following commitments before the Lord and that you verbally express these commitments to your spouse (yes, eyeball to eyeball, and over again regularly).
1. I will always choose to love you.
2. I will always be absolutely honest with you.
3. I will never divorce you.
4. I will never abandon you.
5. I will never have sex with anyone but you.
6. I will never touch any person besides you in a sexual or romantic way.
7. I will pray for you every day.
8. I will never hit you, slap you, punch you, or in any way touch you violently or with the intention of causing you pain.
9. I will never yell at you, talk harshly to you, or say something to you with an intention of hurting you or cutting you down. I will never call you a demeaning name.
10. I will support you and nurture you.
11. I will always keep you and our relationship as being more important and of higher priority than any relationship with anyone else; and I will not cause you to suffer competition for my time and attention with any other friend or associate of mine.
12. I will remain open for you to constructively alert me of mistakes I am making or wrongs I have committed.
13. I will do everything I can to assist you in developing your talents, gifts and abilities and in reaching your highest potential.
14. I will immediately come to your defense.
15. I will do everything I can to make and keep our home as a safe harbor, a refuge, an oasis and a happy place to be.
16. I will do my best to be a giver rather than a getter in all aspects of our marriage.
17. When I am with others or in public I will never cut you down, ridicule you, demean you, or make you the object of any joke.
18. When I am with others or in public I will always support you, honor you and uphold you.
19. I will never break our confidences and I will never share with others about our intimacy or private matters.
20. I will do everything I can to contribute to a happy and God-honoring marriage relationship.
Make these commitments to each other and before the Lord. Choose to KEEP these commitments. Reaffirm all of these commitments to each other regularly.