The Rock Of Commitment

By Shauntie Feldhahn          

"If you really love someone, you shouldn't have to work at it."

That's what High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens told CosmoGIRL! for its August 2008 issue. This young celebrity was speaking out loud what millions of people privately think: Loving feelings should come naturally in a relationship, so if you have to work at it, something's wrong.

But the truth is exactly the opposite: If you truly love someone, you will work hard for the relationship.    

Rock or Sand

Jesus spoke of a house that was built on sand and shaken by storms, while another house was built on rock and remained unmoved.

One of my greatest surprises as a relationship analyst is just how many of us build our marriages on the sand of feelings instead of the rock of commitment.

But I've been encouraged to see that truly committed couples are able, with God's help, to thrive even through the inevitable storms.

Over a five-year period, a close friend sent me e-mails sharing about her struggles with her marriage. She went from daily messages that read, "I can't take this anymore!" to e-mails saying, "He is such a gift to me." What accounted for the change? Her determination.

As she now says, "A successful marriage has little to do with circumstances and a lot to do with determination - taking the word divorce out of your vocabulary and replacing it with commitment."

Taken from For Couples Only by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn.