Did Your Mother Love You?

By Gary Chapman

Life's greatest happiness is found in good relationships, and life's deepest pain is found in bad relationships. If you feel loved by your mother, then the maternal relationship brings you feelings of comfort and encouragement. On the other hand, if your relationship with your father is fractured, you probably suffer feelings of abandonment.

Many single adults have felt unloved by one or both parents. In my book: The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition, one of the ideas I discuss is how understanding the five love languages can help Singles establish or re-establish a more positive relationship with parents. Love holds the greatest potential for healing the past and creating a better future.

Sometime ago, I was speaking at a state penitentiary on the topic of the five love languages. I took the slant of helping them understand why they did or did not feel loved by their parents. When I called for questions or comments, one young man said, "I want to thank you for coming. For the first time in my life I realize that my mother loves me. My love language is physical touch, but my mother never hugged me. In fact, the first time I ever remember getting a hug from her was the day I left for prison. But, I realized that she spoke some of the other love languages. She really was loving me. I just didn't get it." 

You see, most parents honestly desire to communicate love to their children, but unless they are aware that love languages differ for different people, they tend to express love through their own love language. It wasn't that they didn't love you, but rather they didn't know how to express love in a way that made you feel loved. Through understanding the love languages, you may discover that your parents really did love you.

Whether you are single or married, you might consider taking the free Love Language Assessment for Singles to discover how you prefer to receive love from others, and in this case: a parent.

You might find the results bring healing to a hurt relationship from the past, as well as give you some insight for a better future.

Getting Started

The Love Languages Profile*  will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with those closest to you and effectively enhance the relationships in your life.

You may score certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but do not dismiss those other languages as insignificant. Your friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for you to understand this about them.

In the same way, it will benefit your friends and loved ones to know your love language and express his affection for you in ways that you interpret as love. Every time you or they speak one another's language, you score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn't a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other's love language is more of a feeling of "this person understands me and cares for me." This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationships.

* Website: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/