Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
Library pic

Curing A Case Of The Resentment Flu Bug
 
By John Gray

Oct. 18, 2010                                                                                                        Issue 439
Summary of this article
 
John Gray has given a name to what happens when a person, usually the wife, gives and gives in a relationship without receiving enough in return and she gets resentment. He calls it resentment flu and explains how it is cured in a similar way to the real flu.

Jim 

Curing A Case Of The Resentment Flu Bug

 

By John Gray

 

When we love someone, we don't want to let them down. We try very hard to be the person and do the things that will make them happy.

 

At some point, we become more relaxed in the company of our beloved. Maybe too relaxed for our own good. When a woman is happy in a relationship she typically begins to give and do more, believing that her partner will reciprocate.When he unknowingly doesn't live up to her expectations, resentment begins to build. She doesn't want to rock the boat, so she remains quiet - for now...

 

What is the Resentment Flu?

 

Resentment is caused when we feel like we are giving more than we are getting. It starts when our partner somehow, and quite possibly by accident, does or says something that we take personally. We begin to imagine that our partner doesn't care. It goes unresolved and burrows and festers. It can even cause us to become physically ill.

 

Resentment is caused when we feel like we are giving more than we are getting.

 

How do we cure these feelings and return to our relationship with the loving, caring feelings we know are there?

 

The solution for women is to:

 

  · Take responsibility. It was you who was giving more and getting less. Remember this, the best way to even the score is to gracefully give less.

 

  · Treat yourself as if you have the flu and take a break from giving so much. Just like when you don't feel well, slow down and take care of yourself physically.

 

  · Pamper yourself. Allow yourself to be pampered and give yourself some alone time, just for you. Practice receiving. Allow your partner to take care of you for a while.

 

When a man catches the resentment flu, he typically feels unappreciated and pulls away his support. It is important for him to remember that when his partner has the resentment flu, it is harder for her to show her support and appreciation for him. It is crucial at this time for a man to do the little things he was doing in the beginning of their relationship which made her feel loved.

 

The solution for men is to:

 

  · Understand her need to receive for a while before she can give again. Just like a gas tank, a woman's love tank needs regular refilling. When she is empty, it is hard for her to keep giving.

 

  · Show his love and affection for her in loving, little ways. Redirect the energy and attention you are already giving in more romantic, less practical ways.

 

  · Take responsibility for your contribution to her getting the resentment flu because you were forgetting to do the little things. Acknowledge and allow her to have her upset feelings. Reassure her that you will be more considerate.

 

It is very easy to get caught up in the business of our day. We sometimes forget to stop and appreciate our partner and remember how they enrich our lives. Loving our partner without resentment is a gift we give to ourselves and each other.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

Jim Stephens

 

 

____________________________________________ 

Cartoon

Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!
 
Practical tips and news sent to you every day.
 
Low monthly fee of only $5. Less for a whole year than a few hours at a marriage seminar. 
 
One email could change your marriage!!!   ....priceless.
 
Subscribe now using PayPal!
 
More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Subscribe
TODAY!
 
Just $5 a month
 
A new practical tip
everyday. 
 
 

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List iconClick here   
to visit The
    Marriage Library
   

 
Forward this email to a Friend 
Use this button to send this email to friends. If you use your email forward button and your friend clicks the "unsubscribe" button, YOU are the one that will be unsubscribed!!! 
  

Refer this
Daily Email Tip
to others and receive a
$3 bonus each month
for each new subscriber.

 
        
 Archives of past
Daily E-Tips


(must be a subscriber)
_______________________ 
 
To place a link to today's information on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button below when you have your webpage open.
 
 
 
 
Give a gift subscription.
Pay $5 a month, but
get back a $3 referral fee.
Final cost is $2.
 
 
Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20101010