Daily Tips from The Marriage Library.com
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Be Happy First

 
By Shawn Achor
 
October 20, 2011                                                                             Issue 806    

  

Summary of this article

 

This article follows on the one from yesterday. It's important to be happy first, rather than be critical of yourself and then try to "fix" it. See if you agree.   

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

Jim   

Be Happy First

 

By Shawn Achor in The Happiness Advantage

 

It's fine, even great, to want to be more fit and eat healthier, and it's great to set exercise goals. But most people doom their chances for success by starting with negative thoughts.

 

They start with the fact that they don't like something about themselves. They fixate on it, and decide to be unhappy until they fix it.

 

Without happiness first, you miss out on all of the "happiness advantage", namely: increased energy, improved self-efficacy, higher resilience, improved immune system and greater consistency.

 

Here are three ways to use happiness to improve your health and achieve your health goals. (See yesterday's tip on why happiness comes before success at anything.)

 

#1 Start with happiness.

 

If you are going to start a diet or exercise plan (or a relationship --Jim), start with happiness. Make a list of the attributes you like about yourself which will help you accomplish the goal. For example, "I like that I'm good convincing my friends to have fun" means that you might want to use that skill set to start a running group or inspire a friend to be a workout buddy.

 

In The Happiness Advantage, I describe how positive brains have 31% higher levels of productivity, higher pain tolerance, 3 times the levels of creativity, are 90% more likely to live to 85, and their symptoms feel less acute. You can apply this human potential bump to your diet and exercise goals, instead of starting at a deficit as your brain records how unhappy it is about your current health.

 

#2 Change your mindset.

 

Stick with me on this one, make the exercise or diet fun. As Dr. Z says, "By prioritizing happiness first, you increase the chance of achieving the health outcome you seek. But happiness is in the mind so you must work on your brain before your body."

 

That sounds harder than it is. I like lifting weights because you can see the results quickly. But I hate sitting on a bike reading. I should say "hated," because I just got a kindle. I don't know how people have the agility to turn physical pages on an old fashioned book while swinging on an elliptical machine, but biking and kindling is even easier than learning to ride a bike. I bought fun books, that grab my attention, and now, I actually find myself not only starting with cardio, but I finish my workouts by biking when I need to know what happens in my book. Now I look forward to reading, so I'm looking forward to biking.

 

#3 Reward yourself.

 

Make sure that your reward is not food related. The goal for this is to keep the happiness fueling you throughout the process, not just months/years later at the completion of your goal.

 

If you don't have happiness fueling you, your brain will get bored or frustrated.

 

Which comes first, happiness or health? The happiness advantage research is clear. If you do not start with happiness, you'll miss out on both.


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Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20112011