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Summary of this article
Gary Chapman has some good insights into influencing our spouses in the direction we want them to go. In this article he was focusing on women trying to change their husbands, but certainly the advice would also work in the opposite direction.
God bless your family and your marriage.
Jim
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You Cannot Change Others, But You Can Influence Them
By Gary Chapman
It's true, you cannot change your spouse, but you can and do influence your spouse every day. If you are still trying to change your spouse, then you are probably a master manipulator.
You may reason, "If I do this, then my spouse will do that." "If I can make him miserable enough, or happy enough, then I'll get what I want." I hate to discourage you, but you're on a dead end road.
Even if he changes, he will resent you for manipulating him.
A better approach is to be a positive influence on your spouse. You influence by your words and actions. If you look for something your spouse is doing that you like and give him verbal compliments, you are having a positive influence on him.
If you do something for him that you know he will like, your actions influence him in a wholesome way. Your model begins to rub off on him. The reality of the power of positive influence holds tremendous potential for troubled marriages.
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