By Dr. Gary Chapman
Most people would like their families to improve. There are five basic characteristics of a loving family-five elements that, if they are in place, will create healthy family dynamics.
1. An Attitude of Service
A healthy family has an attitude of service to each other and to the world outside the walls of the family. Read the biographies of men and women who have lived lives of sacrificial service to others, and you will find that most of them grew up in families that nurtured the idea of service as virtuous.
2. Intimacy between Husband and Wife
The sharing of the inner self is the fabric from which we weave marital intimacy. It satisfies the inner longings of the couple, and, if children are in the family, it serves as the best positive model of what family is all about.
3. Parents Who Teach and Train
Some parents are strong on teaching-they want to answer the "why" questions for children. Other parents emphasize training-their motto is "Actions speak louder than words." In a loving family, parents balance teaching and training. Parents see them as companion tools, not exclusive methods.
4. Children Who Obey and Honor Parents
In a functional family, parental authority is used for the benefit of the children. They espouse the virtues of kindness, love, honesty, forgiveness, integrity, hard work, and treating others with respect. Children who obey this kind of parent will reap the benefit of living under wholesome authority.
5. Husbands Who are Loving Leaders
Male leadership expresses itself in two relationships in the family: husband and father. Being both loving and a leader is a unique combination, but it's an important ingredient of a healthy family.