About the book
This book offers many situations where you can put yourself into your child's position and find out how he/she feels. There are role-plays for the same purpose and other exercises.
You won't just learn some new ways to deal with your kid's, you also know exactly why you want to use those new ways.
Each chapter has two parts:
1. Explaining the challenge and giving a solution with examples, cartoons, and exercises to practice the principles.
2. Comments, questions and parents' stories.
Chapters 1 and 2 were Tuesday and Wednesday.
Chapter 3: Alternatives to Punishment
Here's the problem: Punishment seldom works.
It focuses on the past, on that which has occurred already. It is not aimed at changing the future behavior. There is even a possibility that punishment might make it worse if the child takes the attitude, "I'll get back at you", or "Next time you won't catch me".
Here are three out of the eight strategies in the book that can be effective to change future behavior:
1. Express strong disapproval (how you feel, without attacking the character).
"I'm furious that my new saw was left out in the rain and got all rusty."
2, Give the child a choice (helps to learn responsibility):
"You can borrow my tools in the future if you return them, or you can decide to give up the privilege of using them. It's your choice."
3. Sit down and talk together to try to resolve the problem:
"What can we work out so that you can use my tools when you need them, and also so that I'll be sure they are there when I need them?"
Step 1. Talk about the child's feelings and needs.
Step 2. Talk about your feelings and needs.
Step 3. Brainstorm together to find a mutually agreeable solution.
Step 4. Write down all ideas - without evaluating.
Step 5. Decide which suggestions you like, which you don't like, and which you plan to follow through on. Then go with that.
Chapter 4: Encouraging Autonomy
Chapter 5: Giving Praise in the most effective way
Chapters 4 and 5 and others in the book are not reviewed here, but listed for those who are interested.
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