From www.Gottman.com

Since 1973, Dr. John Gottman has studied what he calls the "masters and disasters" of marriage.

Ordinary people from the general public took part in long-term studies, and Dr. Gottman learned what makes marriages fail, what makes them succeed, and what can make them a source of great meaning.

By examining partners' heart rates, facial expressions, and how they talk about their relationship to each other and to other people, Dr. Gottman is able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples will make it, and which will not. What advice does Dr. Gottman have to offer? Below are some of his top suggestions for how to keep your relationship or marriage strong.

Have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.

Learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completely unrelated; using humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial art Aikido, you often have to yield to win); and, in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way ("I really appreciate and want to thank you for...."). If an argument gets too heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are both calm.

Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, while discussing problems, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as negative ones. For example, "We laugh a lot" as opposed to "We never have any fun." A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make regular deposits to your emotional bank accounts!

If you'd like to test your relationship click on relationship quizzes (http://www.gottman.com/49806/Relationship-Quizzes.html). And for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential, check out our DVD/Video Workshop for Couples, The Art & Science of Love.

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World renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has thirty-five years of breakthrough research on marriage and parenting which have earned him numerous major awards. He is the author of 190 published academic articles and author or co-author of 40 books. Dr. Gottman is a research scientist whose methods and standards are as rigorous as those used by medical science. The data generated by Dr. Gottman's research offer a scientifically-based glimpse into the anatomy of marriage and couples relationships - but most importantly they provide us with factual, objective information that has contributed to the development of tools, methods, programs, products, and services dedicated to helping couples build stronger, happier relationships.