Betrayal Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

By Michele Weiner-Davis

Many times people want to know the definition of betrayal.

To some, it is about having intercourse and other sexual contact with another person. To others, betrayal is more about one's spouse feeling emotionally connected to someone else- late conversations of a personal nature with a co-worker, or an on-going, intimate friendship with another person. To others, it is secrecy. This may involve secret email accounts, cell phones, Internet behavior, or an unwillingness to share information about whereabouts, spending habits, or life plans.

The fact is there is no universal definition of betrayal.

When two people are married, they must care about each other's feelings. They don't always have to agree, but they must behave in ways that make the relationship feel safe.

Therefore, if one person feels threatened or betrayed, his or her spouse must do some soul searching and change in ways to accommodate those feelings.

In other words, betrayal is in the eye of the beholder. If you or your partner feel betrayed, you need to change what you're doing to make the marriage work.