Forgiveness Is A Gift You Give Yourself
By Michele Weiner-Davis
When there has been infidelity, people just don't forget about it. In fact, they don't ever forget it.
What does happen is that memories of the discovery and the pain tend to fade. The thoughts about betrayal become less frequent and less intense over time. And the good news is that people should NOT forget because we all learn from our experiences, both good and bad.
And although people don't forget betrayal or affairs, forgiveness is still mandatory, not to let the unfaithful person off the hook, but because holding a grudge shackles people to the past.
It is bad for one's health, both emotionally and physically.
There is no intimacy when there are grudges. Life is painful because there is a wall separating people.
When betrayed spouses allow themselves to have feelings of forgiveness, life lightens up. It is freeing. Love begins to flow again.
Letting go of the past begins to make room for happiness in the present.
So, forgiveness isn't meant for the unfaithful, it is a gift betrayed spouses give themselves.