Love Is Not Dependent On Change
By Dr. Gary Chapman
Every marriage relationship involves waiting, whether we wait years for a spouse to develop a certain character trait or twenty minutes while she tries on jeans at the store. But waiting is not the same as having a patient attitude.
When love becomes a way of life in marriage, one spouse does not pace the floor, saying to the other, "I don't know why it takes you so long to get ready." Patience may request change, but patience never demands change. If change is not forthcoming, patience accepts the imperfections of the spouse.
One husband told me, "I wish my wife would just close the dresser drawers when she gets what she needs. But after two years I finally realized she doesn't have a drawer-closing gene. After that, I accepted closing the drawers as my responsibility."
Patience bears with the imperfections of others. Marriage is a constant process of growth. Every couple has behavioral traits that annoy each other, as well as blatant weaknesses that hurt each other.
Patience shares frustration and requests change. When a spouse still does not change, a loving spouse learns to compensate rather than condemn.
We wait with the hope and desire for someone to change, but our love is not dependent on that change.
----------------------------------------
Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman. Based on the book, Love As a Way of Life by Dr. Gary Chapman.