Seven Reasons Divorce Sucks - No. 2
By Gigi Levangie
Huffington Post, 9-18-11
http://tinyurl.com/6lydakk
Divorce sucks.
I mean, it really sucks. Got kids? If so, don't do it.
You probably think you have no reason to listen to me. I'd agree if we were talking about shifting weather patterns or why Lil' Wayne has diamonds instead of front teeth. But, hey, I've lived a pretty long time -- by L.A. standards, I'm ancient -- and I've had many life experiences, among them two marriages.
(snip)
Ladies (and curious men), these are my top seven (and a half) reasons for staying married:
1. All men suck... (snip)
2. Raising kids on your own sucks...
...but this doesn't mean you want to raise them with someone new.
Divorce with children is -- mathematically speaking -- 180 million times worse than divorce without children. I'm sure there's a New York Times study to back me up on this.
Kids are not better off with divorced parents. (Hi, angry tweets from ecstatically divorced parents!) Psychologist Judith Wallerstein conducted a 25-year study on the effects of divorce on the children involved; her book chronicling her findings is more frightening than any TV commercial advertising an Anthony Hopkins movie. If I really don't want to sleep at night, I'll reread her statistics. For example, children of divorce are more likely than children from intact families to drop out of school, suffer drug and alcohol problems, require psychotherapy, and get divorced themselves.
Recently, there was a new study in The American Sociological Review that showed children of divorce lag in math scores and social skills. For years.
Insomnia, much?
My observations of children of divorce, including my own, are simple. Divorce makes your kids' life harder. Would you want to go to a different home every few days because it suits someone else's schedule? Would you like to remember at which house you left your wallet, your laptop, your workout bag, your briefcase? How about sleep in a different bed, use a different toothbrush, get used to the new person in the kitchen and the master bedroom? Your kids have to remember textbooks, notebooks, backpacks, favorite t-shirts, socks, Vans, homework, football helmet, cleats... No wonder these kids are more anxious.
On top of that, they have to do science reports in first grade, master algebra in fifth. Everything's gotten harder. I've volunteered in my sons' classes, and I hate to say it, but I can tell which children have parents who are divorced.
Admitting this brings me no pleasure, and a great deal of pain.
A friend of mine, a divorced mother, told me that her son was depressed about the new woman in his dad's life. "I'm afraid I'm going to forget our Christmases, Mom," he told her, "Someday, will it be like they never happened?"
Consistency is key to a happy, healthy childhood. Guess what's inconsistent? Living with divorce.
3. The money sucks. (snip)
4. Raising other people's kids suck... (snip)
5. Dating sucks (snip)
6. Bumps in the night suck. (snip)
7. Synergy sucks... (snip)
Here is a link to the full article:
http://tinyurl.com/6lydakk